There's a new song by Selena Gomez that I'm in love with. It makes me feel happy, and I feel like I can relate to it. :) Here are the lyrics.
You made me insecure
Told me I wasn’t good enough
But who are you to judge
When you’re a diamond in the rough
I’m sure you got some things
You’d like to change about yourself
But when it comes to me
I wouldn’t want to be anybody else
Na na na Na na na
I’m no beauty queen
I’m just beautiful me
Na na na Na na na
You’ve got every right
To a beautiful life C'mon
[Chorus]
Who says
Who says you’re not perfect
Who says you’re not worth it
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting
Trust me
That’s the price of beauty
Who says you’re not pretty
Who says you’re not beautiful
Who says
It’s such a funny thing
How nothing’s funny when it’s you
You tell ‘em what you mean
But they keep whiting out the truth
It’s like a work of art
That never gets to see the light
Keep you beneath the stars
Won’t let you touch the sky
Na na na Na na na
I’m no beauty queen
I’m just beautiful me
Na na na Na na na
You’ve got every right
To a beautiful life C'mon
[Chorus]
Who says
Who says you’re not perfect
Who says you’re not worth it
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting
Trust me
That’s the price of beauty
Who says you’re not pretty
Who says you’re not beautiful
Who says you’re not start potential
Who says you’re not presidential
Who says you can’t be in movies
Listen to me, listen to me
Who says you don’t pass the test
Who says you can’t be the best
Who said, who said
Won’t you tell me who said that Yeah, oh
[Chorus]
Who says
Who says you’re not perfect
Who says you’re not worth it
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting
Trust me
That’s the price of beauty
Who says you’re not pretty
Who says you’re not beautiful
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Ugh!
I totally forgot how much dating SUCKS!!! I know that I don't need to really date anytime soon, but I want to at least go on dates for fun. I'm not so excited for the heart breaks, and the lies, and the stupid boys. Maybe I'll just be a lesbian. I think that may solve all of my problems. Seriously. Ok not so much. I guess it's just frustrating that potentially, boys won't want to date me just because I'm divorced. My mom told me that would happen. I tell myself I won't want to date those kinds of boys anyway... but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt some.
I was so excited when I got married because I really thought I wouldn't have to suffer through dating again. Going on dates is fun... but relationships suck. I have so many fears about dating, and boys... and the more boys I meet, the more true my fears become. EVERY boyfriend I ever had, minus one, cheated on me. A lot of guys I know have issues with pornography. Other guys judge my appearance, or whether I'll give them enough action, or my insecurities. BAH! I HATE BOYS, AND I HATE DATING! There. I got it off my chest. :)
I was so excited when I got married because I really thought I wouldn't have to suffer through dating again. Going on dates is fun... but relationships suck. I have so many fears about dating, and boys... and the more boys I meet, the more true my fears become. EVERY boyfriend I ever had, minus one, cheated on me. A lot of guys I know have issues with pornography. Other guys judge my appearance, or whether I'll give them enough action, or my insecurities. BAH! I HATE BOYS, AND I HATE DATING! There. I got it off my chest. :)
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
A New Strength
I finally decided to start a blog... again. Ha ha. A lot of crazy things have been happening in my life, but I guess this is a way to show myself how strong I am.
As many people know now, I am divorced. My marriage lasted a whole 5 months. A lot of people feel it's sad that it only lasted that long. I'm not sad that it was that short because it was a really painful 5 months. It actually feels like one of the longest periods of my life. I am sad that it had to end, but I am so grateful that I felt enough love for myself to know that I deserved to be treated better than that.
I'm sure everyone wants to know details, but that is not something I will share. I may share bits and pieces here and there, but it's not really my place to share with the world what happened. I will say though that the decision to get a divorce was the hardest decision of my life. I love Keith very much, but I also love myself. A lot of people have since said that marriage is hard. I would not quit a marriage just because it was hard. I put a lot of effort into this marriage, and I made sure I did everything I could before calling it quits. I prayed, read my scriptures, went to the temple, got a blessing, spoke with my bishop, all in efforts to decide if divorce really was the right thing, and I got confirmed so many times that in my case it was ok. It's still sad, but I know that I did all I could.
Through all of this I have been surprisingly strong. My senior year I was in a relationship that left me in pieces. Instead of completely withdrawing myself and hiding from the world, I've started to embrace it. I know that what I went through was hard, but I also know that I learned a lot from it, and I have become closer to my Heavenly Father because of it. I have been blessed so much this past month and a half. I have an amazing family that has been welcoming and very supportive. I have a wonderful bishop that has worked hard to make sure I'm ok and doing the things I should. I have incredible friends that have reached out even more rather than pulling away.
I'm doing many things to help myself become the best me I can be, and I want to share them.
1. Pray morning and night.
2. Read my scriptures every day.
3. Write in my journal each night.
4. Study Preach My Gospel. It's a long shot, but there is a possibility I could go on a mission, so I'm preparing for it in case God and I decide that's where I need to be.
5. I'm working out. It's so hard though! I only work out like once a week, so I'm trying to get better at it. I saw a really super awesome quote- “Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of those pieces” I definitely don't have that strength yet... but hopefully I'll get better.
6. I hang out with friends a lot. This is good because I'm not just hiding from everyone, but I'm going out and having fun with people who help lift me up.
7. I took a break this semester for obvious reasons, but I'm working on my education. I'm going to start again summer semester so by the end of fall semester I will be done with my associates degree. Woot woot.
I feel like I'm trying really hard... except in the physical aspect, but I'm working on that... but over all I think I'm doing pretty good.
I'm so grateful for everyone's love and support, especially my family's and my Heavenly Father's. I don't know where I would be with out the gospel in my life. I am truly blessed.
As many people know now, I am divorced. My marriage lasted a whole 5 months. A lot of people feel it's sad that it only lasted that long. I'm not sad that it was that short because it was a really painful 5 months. It actually feels like one of the longest periods of my life. I am sad that it had to end, but I am so grateful that I felt enough love for myself to know that I deserved to be treated better than that.
I'm sure everyone wants to know details, but that is not something I will share. I may share bits and pieces here and there, but it's not really my place to share with the world what happened. I will say though that the decision to get a divorce was the hardest decision of my life. I love Keith very much, but I also love myself. A lot of people have since said that marriage is hard. I would not quit a marriage just because it was hard. I put a lot of effort into this marriage, and I made sure I did everything I could before calling it quits. I prayed, read my scriptures, went to the temple, got a blessing, spoke with my bishop, all in efforts to decide if divorce really was the right thing, and I got confirmed so many times that in my case it was ok. It's still sad, but I know that I did all I could.
Through all of this I have been surprisingly strong. My senior year I was in a relationship that left me in pieces. Instead of completely withdrawing myself and hiding from the world, I've started to embrace it. I know that what I went through was hard, but I also know that I learned a lot from it, and I have become closer to my Heavenly Father because of it. I have been blessed so much this past month and a half. I have an amazing family that has been welcoming and very supportive. I have a wonderful bishop that has worked hard to make sure I'm ok and doing the things I should. I have incredible friends that have reached out even more rather than pulling away.
I'm doing many things to help myself become the best me I can be, and I want to share them.
1. Pray morning and night.
2. Read my scriptures every day.
3. Write in my journal each night.
4. Study Preach My Gospel. It's a long shot, but there is a possibility I could go on a mission, so I'm preparing for it in case God and I decide that's where I need to be.
5. I'm working out. It's so hard though! I only work out like once a week, so I'm trying to get better at it. I saw a really super awesome quote- “Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of those pieces” I definitely don't have that strength yet... but hopefully I'll get better.
6. I hang out with friends a lot. This is good because I'm not just hiding from everyone, but I'm going out and having fun with people who help lift me up.
7. I took a break this semester for obvious reasons, but I'm working on my education. I'm going to start again summer semester so by the end of fall semester I will be done with my associates degree. Woot woot.
I feel like I'm trying really hard... except in the physical aspect, but I'm working on that... but over all I think I'm doing pretty good.
I'm so grateful for everyone's love and support, especially my family's and my Heavenly Father's. I don't know where I would be with out the gospel in my life. I am truly blessed.
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